PK Says Hi | The importance of being human

We love hearing our name said out loud. Maybe not if we’re getting told off. But when it’s said naturally, in conversation, it gives us a boost. When you hear it, something shifts. You feel good, don’t you? It’s a beautiful sound, and one of the most powerful acts of human interaction there is. But why is it so hard to remember people’s names, and why aren’t we using them more?

In this digital world where we constantly swipe, scroll, scan everything, the simple act of committing someone’s name to memory has become something of a rare gesture. We meet someone at an event, say HI, and soon their name is gone, replaced by a notification, an interruption. We’ve wasted that golden opportunity to connect properly and show that we care.

Thousands of years ago, ancient gods guarded their true names like crowns, to know a name was to hold real power. Somewhere over the millennia, we forgot that magic. So why are we so bad at it? Perhaps we’re not paying attention when names are exchanged. We’re thinking about what we’re going to say next, busy scanning the room. The name goes in one ear and out the other.

I’ve met a lot of people in my 50+ years. But I didn’t always remember their names. It bothered me, so I started to perfect some easy skills. Here’s what I’ve learned, through years of practice and more than a few awkward “er, sorry, what’s your name again?” moments.

Tip 1: Repeat it

When someone says “Hi, I’m Emma,” repeat it back: “Emma, great to meet you.” Out loud. It’s simple and works every time. You’ve heard it, then said it, the brain has had two chances to save and file it away.

Tip 2: Spell it

Ask how they spell their name. Seems unnecessary if they say ‘John’ – but it could be Jon. I recently met someone called ‘Jamie’, and when I asked, it was J.a.y.m.e. And ‘Charlie’ at a housewarming turned out to be Charli with an ‘i’. So I said: “Hi Charli, I’m PK. That’s the letter P, the letter K. Lovely to meet you, Charli.” You’re helping them out too, and they’re hearing their name, that beautiful sound, one more time. That’s how you show you’re genuinely interested, rather than letting the most important part just flit away.

Tip 3: Use it

When you’ve finished chatting and you’re about to move on, use their name one more time. “Really great talking with you, Emma.” You’ve now said it three times and hopefully it’s entered the vault.

Tip 4: Write it

Write their name down as soon as you can, on your phone, in a notebook, anywhere. Memory is a muscle, but so is the habit of reinforcing it. I use Notes on my phone and often ask people how to spell their full name, right there in front of them. It may sound awkward, but it’s not. You are showing that you care about their most precious thing, the first gift they were ever given.

But this isn’t about memory techniques. It’s about intention. When you make the effort to remember someone’s name, what you’re really saying is: you matter enough for me to pay attention. In a world increasingly full of distraction, that’s an extraordinary gift to give another person.

Other people Say Hi

I was chatting recently with actor Damon Herriman, in town to perform in ART for State Theatre Company South Australia. He often gets called Damien, so it’s clear that when people get his name right, it means something. I’ve also recently started a project called ‘Others Say HI’ – a video series where I ask interesting people about human interaction.

I asked Damon what ‘human interaction’ means to him.

“As an actor who’s working on stage at the moment, human interaction is incredibly important, because without it, we wouldn’t have a play. I’m working with two amazing actors, Richard Roxburgh and Toby Schmitz, and there’s no version of that that works with robots. And there’s no version of the audience that works if there weren’t humans interacting with us. There’s absolutely a give-and-take, and a relationship that the actors on stage have with the audience. And you need human beings connecting for that to work.”

“When you are acting, whether it’s on stage or screen, what it is, is human interaction. That’s what you’re aiming to replicate perfectly. You want those moments, those scenes, to feel like they are really taking place in a real world, and that is something that you can’t replicate with AI. I think there’s something about looking into the eyes of a real person that you’re never really going to be able to replicate digitally. And I think that’s why genuine human interaction is here to stay.”

AI is everywhere and I’m not here to bag it. What I do believe is this: if you use AI to make your life more efficient, use that bonus time to simply be more human. Connect. Interact. Meet people. And it all starts with something as small as a name.

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‘Joel Pearson – I Think, Therefore AI’ episode

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